Crazy Hill
by xXShybutdeadlyXx
Summary: This is what happens when you do crack.
1. Chapter 1

Alex Shepherd laid quietly on his lumpy old mattress staring up at the ceiling, his hazel eyes showing no emotion. Memories flooded into his mind, making him feel more worthless then he already felt. He had no one anymore, his family was dead, he had no idea what happened to Elle and Wheeler when he left Silent Hill. He couldn't go back to his real home anymore for reasons of the supernatural.

"God my life sucks major monkey ass!" He bellowed as his hands covered his face showering him in darkness.

Letting out a low sigh the spiked haired brunet lazily got out of bed to retrieve some food. After a few steps, the air around him became heavier, like something was pushing down on him. His head began to pound furiously and his eyes became blurry.

"Shit! Hangover much? What in the world is going on!" He questioned but like usual got no answer. "Oh well I doubt it's nothing, just a damn hangover." With that assumption he continued his way to the kitchen.

So instead of investigating like he should have he just blamed it on a huge hangover just like any normal human being would!

His legs began to wobble as he walked. "Come on legs you can do it, work off this hangover!" An just like that his legs gave out on him and he fell to the floor face first.

"You fucking traitors!" Alex yelled out to his legs. Bet if they could talk they would be laughing at that face plant, HA!

"You know, I'm just gonna-" His eyes became heavier. "Gonna….sleep this off." His world became dark and drool began to seep from his mouth. Awwww isn't he cute when he's asleep?

Travis growled in annoyance as he helped his neighbor take down Christmas decorations.

"Lazy ass mother fuckers! It's the middle of July and they haven't taken this shit down yet!" He muttered to himself. Now Travis, it's not good to talk to yourself _

"Oh Travis your such a sweetheart for helping me. You know these old bones aren't like they used to be."

_'Bitch I'm older then you! You are just LAAAAZEEEEH!'_

Forcing a smile to his face *which turned out very creepy by the way* he just nodded her way.

The women turned on her heels and smirked almost devilishly. The good men were always the easiest to fool into doing something.

"I wonder how she'll feel if I strangle her with her own Christmas lights…..I bet she won't mind, seeing as she's so "old" Poor dear must be in pain." Travis chuckled to himself as he pulled at the Christmas lights making them make a smacking noise.

But this is when hangover two decides to strike! Mwahahahaha! Lol I'm just joking, what's really happening is much worse then a hangover :D

Travis head began to spin. "What the fuck I didn't even drink anything! I've been 3 weeks sober dammit!"

Travis couldn't hang on any longer from the pain, so he slipped and went boom!

"Fuck you…Christmas lights and you to old hag." His world went pitch black. Hehe!

"Damn this water prison!" Yelled the fuming Henry Townshend "I hate this place! Hard ass puzzle that make no damn sense oh and let's not forget nasty twin kids stuck together I mean seriously what the hell!"

"Oh come on no Henry, no need to get your panties in a bunch."

Henry whipped his head to look into the eyes of the psycho killer Walter. Ok I just wanna get this out there….what kind of a killer has the name like Walter?

"Wait I thought you were supposed to show up the second time around." Henry looked at the man puzzled.

"Yeah I know, but Eileen's with you then and for some reason I got this nagging feeling to come see you before she comes into the picture."

So he came here….because Eileen's not with him…

"You gay or something?" His eye twitched as he was assaulted with a pounding headache. "Gaaaah my head! Fucking damn headaches!" No Henry it's a hangover assault :P

"Walter stop it I know you make the headaches co-" Henry stopped as he saw the other man in the room wither in pain clutching his head. How can Walter get a headache! Life makes no seeeeeeeeeense!

"What….the…hell!" He faints along with Walter. To bad not on top of each other though….come on you were all thinking it don't lie!

James laid on one of the hotel's grimy nasty beds that had blood all over it. Since he couldn't leave silent hill he was used to it by now.

"You know what James, you're an awesome guy. You don't need Mary, of course you don't. She was a total and complete bitch for making you come to this crazy town that you can never leave. You can do so much better then her and Maria! Yeah because you know why!" He stood on his feet and stuck a pose! "Because you are James fucking Sunderland that's why!"

Silence was all that was herd.

"God dammit there I go talking to myself then! I swear I'm getting crazier by the minute!"

As James ranted to himself like the weirdo he was he didn't notice the screeching noise of like, I don't know, a giant sword scraping across the floor?

"I want to leaaaaaaaaeve!"

"You know you can never leave here James."

"Oh sweet Jesus!" James yelled as he about jumped right out of his skin. "What the hell are you doing here Pyramid Head! I thought you stabbed yourself!" James chuckled at the memory. "And people think I'm stupid." *Because you are…but no worries I love ya James ^_^ used to hate ya but ya grew on me :P*

"Wait…." James looked at Pyramid head bewildered. "Holy bajebus you can talk!"

PH shook his head. "Yes James I can talk, you were just to caught up in your precious Mary to pay attention."

"Oh…well that explains it."

His head began to tweak in pain. "Owwwwwwww! Hangover assault!"

PH looked at the blond weirdly through his helmet. What was wrong with him NOW! Just before he could ask his head two began to hurt, it felt like someone banged on his helmet way to many times.

James's eyes began to get heavy as he giggles like a little school girl.

"Hehehe night, night." He fainted along with pyramid head. Now good thing Pyramid head didn't fall on top of James because if he did damn that would hurt when he woke up!

Heather sighed as she roamed around the now empty house. Douglas now lived with her since she still needed supervision and all that junk, but it was still strange not having her dad around. Everything, even her heard felt empty.

"Damn lesbian bitch…fucking killing my dad like that! "Oh I didn't kill him I just gave the order" Man you know what I should have said to that! Bang, bang bitch!"

She plopped herself down on the same chair her father was killed in. Don't worry it's clean….I hope.

"I wonder when Douglas is supposed to be back, their putting his ass on to many mission thing! He's getting old he should retire but noooo!" She hmphed as she crossed her arms. "Why am I talking to myself again?" And just like all the rest she began to scream in agony as a pounding headache *hangover* made itself known.

"What's going on! This can't be happening again!" Her eyes became blurry as she took one last look around the house.

"Wow I never noticed that this place needed a good cleaning." Then her whole body went limp as she blacked out. Hmmm….nice last thought.

To be continued


	2. Chapter 2

I know this must be FUCKIN short but eh I wanted to just show the down low of what's going on so far and all before I hop into what happens between the pairs and all that :Pidk how Imma do that just yet but what happens, happens :3 I hope you enjoy what's happening so far though xD

Alex was the first to wake up. Rubbing his eyes free from the magical sleep, dust he looked around, only to scream like a little bitch.

"Ahhhhh we're surround! Everyone wake up were being attacked by the enemy! Where's the general!" Alex freaked as he kept screaming "enemy" and "we're being attacked" yeah weird army lingo shit like that.

"Will you shut up you army freak!" Yelled the bottle blond named Heather. "Some of us are trying to work off a-" Heathers jaw dropped as she saw all the monsters that surrounded them, showing no means of escape. "Hang…ove…er. Hehehe well…hello there, monsters." Her fingers twitched into a small wave.

"Heather….is it….really you?"

Heathers eyes widened as a familiar voice filled her ear drums. "D-Daddy?" Her voice shook as she saw the smiling face of her father. Tears began to stream down her cheeks as she hugged daddy dearest close.

"Shhh its ok baby, I'm here now." Harry whispered soothingly, quickly washing away all her fears away.

"I thought you were dead dad….no you WERE dead, so how did this happen?" Heather sniffled as she whipped away dry tears.

"Heh well if he did die looks like he's gonna die AGAIN!" Alex said while poking one of the monsters with a conveniently found plank of wood. "Hehe he jiggles because he's fat!"

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." Heather warned for she knew the creature very well. "Those are Cancers, I think, and they're pretty dangerous."

"Dangerous! Ha! The things I fought were **dangerous**." Going back to poking the creature he giggled furiously. "Whatcha gonna do fatty fat fatty!"

The monster (er cancer?) growled, thus making it grab a hold of the wooden plant and break it like a tooth pick.

"Hehe." Alex laughed nervously. "You know I was just joking…right? OH GOD PLEASE DON'T SUCK ME IN YOUR FAT FOLDS!"

Around this time everyone woke up because Imma not waste my writing genius on everyone waking up.

Everyone grumbled, shaking their heads and massaging their temples, in hope their head would stop pounding.

"What the hell happened?" James questioned hazily as he looked around, only to scream like a bitch just like Alex because we know in Silent Hill only MANLY MEN scream like women. "What the fuck is Pyramid Head doing here! Isn't this the human only group! Be gone demon! Rejoin your lacky's!" Shifting his eyes from left and right he actually got a good look at the monsters that surrounded them. "That seriously….need to go on weight watcher…"

"Ok will everyone SEROISLY SHUT UP NOW! Especially the men, Imma tired of all the high pitched squeals!" An unknown voice boomed.

Everyone looked high above to see….a fucking teenaged GIRL , STANDING on a rooftop with many different kinds of monsters that inhabited silent hill all around her. The girl had brown hair and emotionless brown eyes, she wore a zipped up hoodie that was fancied up in black in white strips, and on the right side of the jacket their was a cute little skull with a bow plastered onto it., her pants at the hem were studded and looked worn out. A smirk graced her lips as she stared down at the group. "Ello everyone!" She waved.

"Uhhh…who the fuck are you?" Travis asked boldly.

"My names Kristin and I am the new dictator of Silent hill!" She smiled happily. "Nah I lie I just bribed these monsters, who knew they were so easy to manipulate eh?"

Everyone knitted their eyebrows together in confusion. What the FUCK was wrong with this crazy bitch!

"Uhhh why exactly did you capture us craz- I mean Kristin…?" Heather asked.

Kristin rolled her eyes. "To the couples I love in the Silent Hill serried a reality, duh. That's the only reason the dead are alive now." She shrugged which in turned caused everyone to gawk at her.

"Uhhh couples?" Henry questioned.

"Yeah couples. I am what people like to call a fangirl, and we fangirls like to stop at nothing until our dreams are fulfilled." She smiled happily. "I mean DAMN if I wasn't a fangirl I wouldn't be able to do any of this!" She motioned around to all the creatures.

"But didn't you just say they were easily manipulated?" Walter smirked.

"You're pushing it blondie!"

"So…what are you going to do to us?" Alex asked as he resisted the urge to poke one of the fatties again.

Kristin shrugged. "Nothing much, you're all just gonna be paired up and be tossed somewhere in Silent hill. Don't worry though none of you will ever cross paths." She smirked. "I'll be watching your every move and if what I want to see happens, then I will let you go right away, but if I don't.." She pondered for a moment. "hmmm well it depends on my mood if Imma in a good one I might just let you go…bust sadly if not I might just tell all the twilight fangirls that you HATE twilight and think it should be burned and just feed you to them."

Everyone shivered at the thought of those twilight fangirls…clawing at them…biting them with their fake vampire teeth, yelling either "Team Edward sparklepants!" Or "Team Jacob PUT A FUCKING SHIRT ON!"

"Yeah horrible thought isn't it? So I hope ya'll learn to love who your partner is or just pray I'm in a good mood." Kristin turned to her side and grabbed a bowl that one of the monsters were holding. "What the fuck!" She threw it at one of those baby school monsters that Harry fights in the school in the first game." I hate peanuts!"

Everyone face palmed. This was seriously the person that held their fate in her hands?

"Well it was nice meeting all you but I get a feeling we're going to die no matter what." Harry sighed.

"This is all because I wanted to strangle that lazy bitch with her own Christmas lights isn't it!" Travis bellowed.

"Well." Kristin began. "Ready for the game to begin?"

"AHHHHHHHHH!" Alex screamed, because he's just so god damn MANLY! He raced to the nearest fat boy and hugged it. "I lied! Please suck me in your fat fold! Protect me from the crazy geek girl with glasses who speaks of COUPLES!"

Kristin growled and began to rub her temple with one hand, with one free hand she snapped her fingers. Sending everyone into complete darkness once again. "Now everyone put them into position!"

The creatures moved out.

"….Do I look like a geek to you?"

The creature looked away in fear of answering.

"It's the glasses I swear!"

To be continued


End file.
